


Practice & Perfection

by agentx13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emma AU, F/M, Gen, sharon carter month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23344336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentx13/pseuds/agentx13
Summary: Sharon Carter was handsome, rich, and single, just as she liked it. Marriage wasn't evil, per se, but she had noticed that women who married never seemed as happy as those who didn't. Statistically, they were more likely to live longer.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: Sharon Carter Month





	Practice & Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> @akidura requested an Emma AU. If there's one thing I've learned in the past month, it's that this fic doesn't have enough longing. (I wrote it without revisiting the source material, in my defense.) But I'm also working on a Pride & Prejudice AU, so I'll try to put some more longing into that! I hope this one is still enjoyable, though!

Sharon Carter was handsome, rich, and single, just as she liked it. Marriage wasn't evil, per se, but she had noticed that women who married never seemed as happy as those who didn't. Statistically, they were more likely to live longer.

Perhaps her first thoughts of marriage were shaped by her own parents, whose parents was better marked by the children than its happiness. Sharon remembered the arguments and snipes. And yet, if asked, her parents would say they were happy. 

If that was happiness, Sharon wanted none of it.

Others, however, were not so clever or intelligent. She considered Betty Ross a friend. Smart, kind, compassionate, Betty was one of the few people in her social circle that Sharon truly liked and esteemed. And Betty was fool enough to marry Bruce Banner, a wannabe scientist with floppy hair and so shy Sharon had sat with him through entire meals and barely heard him speak.

But Betty seemed happy during the ceremony, and Sharon was determined not to ruin the day. She did her part in the bridal party, she smiled and said what she hoped were the right things (and yes, she'd looked up tips online). She kept up the charade through the reception, even when she caught the bouquet (and yes, she suspects Betty threw it to her on purpose).

She went home with a neighbor, Steve Rogers. The two of them have known each other all their lives, and Sharon had no qualms about taking off her heels in his car and rubbing her feet. "That was _awful._ "

He pulled out of the parking lot without looking at her. "I don't know. It seemed nice enough to me."

"Oh, sure," Sharon said flippantly. "Everyone cried who was expected to cry, and no one else. Everything went perfectly. I just can't believe she would get _married._ "

"She seemed happy."

"She _is,_ " Sharon's tone is disgusted. "He'll have her giving up her career for his advancement in no time. Making sure he eats. Making sure he showers. Like he's a child."

"Banner's better than that."

"He isn't. He's a scientist."

"And you know so many of those," Steve said cheerfully.

She eyed him. It was too dark to read his features, but they've known each other long enough that she didn't need light to see his expression. "Don't make fun of me."

"I would never," he lied.

"Ugh. Just you wait. Love is horrible. An illness. A scourge. They'll realize it soon enough. Poor Betty."

Steve only shook his head and changed the subject.

* * *

Just as Sharon had expected, Betty's life changed. With work and marriage, Sharon saw less of her than ever, and it didn't help that Betty continued to be happy. It was truly, overwhelmingly disgusting. Nonetheless, she tried to be a good friend and continued to reach out and arrange lunches or weekend shopping trips.

She knew she was at risk of being jealous of Bruce. But it wasn't as if she was wrong for it, was she?

She met Laura Sims at a festival in town. Sharon always attended the town's various parties and festivals out of a sense of obligation - her family had been some of its wealthiest residents and greatest benefactors for generations - but she had to admit they were different now that she had fewer people she knew well there. Worse, Steve was on a business trip. With him away and Betty babysitting Bruce, she was forced to branch out. 

Fortunately, she'd been raised to handle everything with social grace, and she handled the situation with what she thought was aplomb. Still, it was a relief when she fell into conversation with Laura. New to the area, easily charmed, and unassuming, she thought Laura was rather sweet. She quickly determined to make a new friend.

It had nothing to do with trying to make Betty jealous. It really didn't. But if it made Betty jealous, so be it.

* * *

"Are you sure Rumlow doesn't like you?" Laura asked. Weeks had passed, and the two were now close friends. Sharon was relieved she had someone new, though she wouldn't admit it.

"What's this about Rumlow liking you?" Steve asked.

Sharon rolled her eyes. "He'd be better off liking a lake. He can jump into it, for all I care."

Laura by now knew Sharon's thoughts on marriage and relationships in general. The two had engaged in several arguments about Laura's boyfriend, Clint. Laura knew Sharon's thoughts on relationships all too well. "Rumlow's asked her to dinner three times now. And he's asked her to the town Halloween party twice."

"And she turned him down, I imagine."

"Of course I did," Sharon said shortly. "Now can we please stop talking about my love life as if I have one?"

Laura and Steve looked at each other knowingly, and Sharon decided she didn't like that. She didn't like that one bit.

* * *

Sharon didn't like Helen Cho, either. Helen Cho was incredibly smart. Incredibly pretty. Incredibly talented. The only thing Sharon had that Helen didn't was money. Worse, Helen spent more and more of her time with Betty and Bruce. Whenever Sharon was able to visit with Betty, most of the time was spent listening to Betty and Helen talking about scientific theories she knew little about.

Steve visited one day to find her poring over advanced biology textbooks. "Going back to college?" he asked, amused.

"Trying to keep up," she said, sourly. 

"Not jealous of Helen, I hope."

She scowled at him, and he grinned at her as he dropped into a chair. "Want me to quiz you?"

She begrudgingly shoved one of the books toward him. "Fine. But don't take it easy on me."

* * *

She did, however, like Thor. A friend of Bruce Banner's, it meant she had to put up with Bruce more in order to meet with Thor. He was, unlike his friend, attractive, charming, and dare she say it, marriage material.

Not that she had any intention of getting married. But as Laura told her in some of their arguments, it depended on the man.

And Thor was, most decidedly, a man.

* * *

The night before Halloween was a disaster. The town held its annual masquerade then, and Sharon had a prominent part in the proceedings. She was a Carter, after all, and that meant something. Most of the night was almost tolerable. She danced with Steve, for instance. She got in a couple dances with Thor, who was obviously much in demand. She also danced with Clint so she could make sure he was treating Laura well. The night started to turn when she danced with Bruce and he stepped on her feet twice.

Somehow, it felt worse to see Steve dancing with Helen. Not that it was any of her business. But why _Helen?_ Sure, she was prettier, smarter, and kinder than Sharon, but still.

Rumlow was too attentive for her to ignore. She tried to send clear indications that she wasn't interested in him as anything more than friends, and she hoped she'd succeeded.

She wasn't certain enough that she didn't duck out every so often to get some time alone and away from him. She was behind the bleacher when Steve came over and covered her drink before she could take a sip. He shook his head. "Someone spiked the punch."

"I think I can handle spiked punch," she said wryly.

"I don't think it was spiked with alcohol," Steve said. He jerked his head toward the open area, and she followed to see that several people were having trouble staying upright.

"Good lord," Sharon muttered.

"Doesn't look like a dangerous amount, but still. Thor, Bruce, and I are helping to take some people to the hospital for observation and just in case."

Steve was her ride. She was about to say she was ready to leave when he was, but then he said, "I wanted to make sure you were all right. Can you walk home?"

Her heart fell. "Sure," she said. 

He nodded, and then he was gone. It didn't escape her notice that the first person he helped to his car, and set in the front seat where Sharon usually sat, was Helen Cho.

"Need a ride?" Rumlow asked.

Sharon stifled her sudden irritation. She _was_ wearing heels. And her house was over a mile away. "I suppose."

He offered her his hand, and after a moment, she took it. It was cool, maybe even a little clammy. "I wouldn't have left my date to fend for herself," he said.

"Steve isn't my date."

"Really? You two spend so much time together."

She shrugged. "We're neighbors."

"Huh. Just neighbors, huh?"

"Of course." She frowned in irritation. Why was he pushing this?

She got her answer when they were in front of her house. She thought, for a moment, that he was reaching over to open her door as if she lacked the strength to do it herself, but then his face was against hers in a sloppy and forceful kiss. 

He pulled away with a disgusting grin, and Sharon slapped him.

"What the fuck!" he demanded, grabbing his cheek.

"Exactly!"

"I thought you were into me!"

She stared at him. "No," she said, voice flat. "That was always a no."

"But you said you weren't with Rogers."

"Because I'm not."

"Then why not be with me?" he demanded. His voice turned wheedling. "You could like it. If you gave it a chance."

In answer, she got out of the car and slammed the door behind her. 

"Don't be a bitch!" he called after her.

She flipped him off as she closed her house door. As shameful as she felt of the fear in her gut, she proceeded to make sure every door and window in the house and made sure to watch as his headlights turned back toward the road.

She wanted to call the police but wasn't sure if that would be an overreaction. Untrusting of her own judgment, her first thought was to call Steve. But he only had time to talk about how she was glad she'd made it home all right and then told her that the police were interviewing everyone and would likely want to talk to her soon. She heard Helen's voice in the background, and then Steve said he had to go and hung up.

She spent a restless night on the couch, watching awful movies from the nineties and telling herself she was fine.

* * *

She didn't even have to talk to the police before a warrant was issued for Rumlow's arrest, and Sharon was a little dismayed to find that no one called to check on her the next day. No one even called to talk. She was left to make her own way there, left to find out after the fact that a party to celebrate everyone making it out unscathed was already arranged, and left to find out that Steve had already offered to take Helen.

She left the hospital, determined not to let anyone see how upset she was. What was there to be upset about anyway, she reasoned. Steve was nothing but a neighbor. And Helen was superior in all but finances.

She woke up the next morning to find she'd drooled on the advanced genetics book in the night.

* * *

If the Halloween masquerade had been a disaster, the inaugural "All Souls Unscathed Day" party was far, far worse.

Sharon attended alone. Steve had called a couple times, but she hadn't had the heart to answer.

Laura did _not_ attend alone. Worse, she stayed next to Clint the whole time, beaming, and there was a small, shiny rock on her finger.

As soon as Laura saw Sharon, she shouted, "We're _engaged!_ " and held out her hand for Sharon to admire the diamond.

She obligingly looked at if for several seconds and then grinned at Clint. "Impressively nice ring, Barton. Don't tell me you stole it."

He silently toasted her. "Off my dead mother's finger."

She offered her congratulations, but it didn't escape her notice that Laura's expression was different now. She made a note to talk to her about it later when there weren't so many people around and moved aside so others could congratulate her. Part of her wondered how many people had known about the engagement before herself, why Laura hadn't told her. But there was no need to press the matter now.

Sharon didn't dance with Barton. He didn't ask, and she didn't offer. 

Nor did she dance with Steve, who was busy dancing with everyone or double-checking on everything but her.

She _did_ get to dance with Thor, but after he gently corrected her on who had come up with a thesis, she opted to give up for the rest of the night. She got some punch from the table where uniformed officers were watching over the bowls. They were in good humor, too good for her, and she went off to appear unaffected elsewhere as Helen and Steve took her place.

She found a spot at the table with Betty and Bruce, but they were too deeply involved in conversation to pay her any mind. She tapped against the table as she tried to politely listen, only a little at first, then more tapping. Tap tap tap. Tap tap. They glanced at her but didn't break off their conversation. Betty, Sharon decided, hadn't been like this before she'd been married. Unable to mask her irritation, she got to her feet and decided to go home. She couldn't take anymore of this.

She was almost to her car when she was intercepted by Steve. For a moment, her mood lightened. He was going to remember they hadn't danced. They'd go back inside and dance and talk like they usually did. Get punch. Salvage the evening.

"What is _with_ you tonight?" he demanded.

Her face fell. "What?"

"Everybody's talking about it. You accused Clint of stealing Laura's engagement ring. Blew off Helen and Betty. You even blew off _me._ "

"I didn't blow you off," Sharon said defensively. She had avoided them. It wasn't the same thing. "And it was a joke."

"Your jokes used to be funny."

The "used to be" struck her. She understood. Like Betty, he was going to get married and leave her alone. Like Laura was going to. Bitter, she said, "You wouldn't know what my jokes are like these days anyway."

"Meaning?"

"We've barely talked since you met Helen." She couldn't keep the irritation out of her voice no matter how much she tried. "Thor, too."

He didn't respond right away. "I forget sometimes how self-centered you are." He stepped away. "Have a good night, Sharon."

It was too late for that, she thought ruefully. Before she could say so, he was already walking away, and her throat wouldn't work right.

She knew she should apologize to Laura, but she also knew she couldn't manage it right now. Tears were already tickling her cheeks. Her throat still wasn't working.

Instead, she got in her car, went home, and cried.

* * *

"Oh," Laura greeted her. "Hi."

Sharon stood outside Laura's apartment. The edge in Laura's voice wasn't lost on her. "Hi," she said. "Can I come in?"

"Clint's here."

Sharon bit her tongue before she could ask if the apartment was only big enough for two people. Mustering all her social skills, she smiled. "That's great. I'd been hoping to say hello to him, too."

After a moment's pause, Laura moved aside.

Sharon stood in her living room and greeted Clint, who nodded in response. He seemed relaxed, but wary.

This was new territory for Sharon. This whole year was new territory for her. Steve being disappointed in her. Feeling alone. Being disliked.

"I'd like to apologize," she said awkwardly. "I was trying to be funny when I made that comment about your engagement ring and didn't think of how it would impact you."

Clint hopped to his feet. "Okay. Great. That's all we needed to hear. Anybody want cereal?"

"No." Laura held out her hand and lowered it. Obediently, Clint sank back into his chair. "We're not done." She didn't take her eyes off of Sharon as Clint sighed. "How did you realize I was upset?"

Sharon glanced at Clint for assistance, but he was stone-faced. "Steve told me," she admitted.

"What else did he tell you?"

Sharon sighed. "That I blew off some people. That I'm self-centered."

"That you can be a bitch sometimes?"

Sharon flinched. "He... didn't mention that."

"Can I _please_ get some cereal," Clint begged. 

"Don't worry, babe. Sharon and I are headed out."

Clint couldn't hide his relief. Sharon wasn't sure she hid hers, either.

* * *

Laura, Sharon decided, was a good friend. The conversation wasn't pleasant or easy, but Sharon tried to set her ego aside and listen, and she thought it was beneficial. No, she _knew_ it was beneficial. Seeing herself through someone else's eyes was an unkind but necessary experience. 

She wasn't sure she was up to another apology, but she dreaded the thought of putting it off even more. Her next visit was to Betty. Naturally, Betty was with Bruce, Helen, Thor, and - painfully - Steve. Betty excused herself to talk with her, and they ended up talking for several hours. This conversation, too, was eye-opening. She'd had no idea how often she'd demanded Betty's time and patience. She had thought all along that they were friends, that this was expected, but Betty was gentle as she outlined instances where Sharon hadn't reciprocated. By the time they were done, all but Bruce had left, and Sharon swallowed what was left of her pride and apologized to him for her behavior, too.

Apologizing was humiliating and exhausting, but Sharon knew she couldn't give up. Talking with Laura and Betty gave her several avenues of self-improvement, and she was determined - for their sake if not hers - to not be so self-centered.

Always a member of various groups in town, Sharon began to attend normally and take part, to volunteer, even to take the less desirable tasks. She was disheartened to see the surprise on so many faces whenever she did so. 

Still on the lookout for more, she also volunteered at the hospital and the local library. She hated how surprised people were to see her, and part of her was determined to prove herself until no one looked surprised anymore. Another part of her found that she was starting to enjoy volunteering. 

There were more apologies to be made. Helen. Thor. Some others that Sharon hadn't realized she'd hurt or offended.

There was one person, though, that she didn't apologize to. Even though the urge to talk to him, to share her experiences with him, was nearly always there, she found she no longer knew what to say to Steve. Complicating matters was that his absence was making her consider things. Feelings. It made her reconsider their interactions going back years. Wondering.

It was too late now, of course. He'd moved on to Helen. And Sharon couldn't even hate Helen. Having apologized to her, having genuinely tried to be better, Sharon found herself liking Helen. She could now see that Helen wasn't a less-rich version of herself; Helen was truly a better person than Sharon.

And Sharon had brought it on herself.

* * *

She wasn't expecting to open the door to Steve banging on the glass Monday morning. There was something in his eyes that made her heart pound in fear. "What is it?" she demanded. "Is everything okay?"

"What?"

"Is someone hurt?"

"What? No!"

"Oh." She looked at him, wondering what he was doing here if it wasn't to tell her Laura or Betty had experienced something horrible. Did it have something to do with Helen? Was he here to tell her- She took a breath and held it, gathering herself to pretend to be happy for them. She'd always wanted to be alone, after all.

"Are _you_ okay?" he asked.

Confused, she said, "Of course. Why?" Was it because they hadn't spoken in so long? This didn't seem like the way he would try to talk to her. He seemed almost frantic.

"Because of Rumlow."

Her eyes widened. "What? What about Rumlow?"

"He took you home that night."

"Yeah, but why-"

"Did he hurt you-"

"Not as badly as I hurt him," she snapped. " _Why_ are you asking about-"

"They arrested him last night."

The air went out of her. "Oh. Jesus, Steve. Open with that!"

"Oh." Realizing how worried she'd been, he blinked. "Sorry. I didn't realize. You didn't _mention_ that he took you home!"

"It didn't matter. He'd drugged half the town. I might be self-centered, but I'm not an attention whore."

Steve flinched. "I'm- I'm sorry about that."

"Why? You were right."

He shook his head. "You were never- You may have be selfish from time to time, but you're never mean-spirited about it. I should have realized something was wrong."

She shrugged. "You were right," she repeated. "I was - _am_ \- self-centered."

"You've been working on it," he reasoned. "I've heard about how much you've been doing around town. And it would have been easy for you not to do anything, you know."

Sharon blinked at him. She hadn't considered that as an option. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she demanded.

He shrugged. "I thought you'd realize on your own, honestly. Eventually."

"Why would you even put up with me for so long? I was awful. I still can be, I think."

He began to answer, then faltered. When he next spoke, his voice was quiet. "It doesn't matter."

Her voice was quieter, too. "It does to me."

"I'm aware of your thoughts on relationships." Each word was forced out. He didn't meet her eyes.

"Maybe they've changed."

His eyes met hers in an instance.

"Separate bank accounts are things," she said, faltering just as much as he had.

His warm hands were on her cheeks, his warm lips against hers, and their first kiss was neither skilled nor orderly. It was more spirited than informed. Still, neither would have given it up.

Sharon was the first to break it. "What about Helen?" He might have had feelings for Sharon in the past, but he was with Helen now. And Helen didn't deserve to have him kiss someone else.

"You don't know?" he asked. His thumb stroked her cheek. Realizing she didn't, he grinned. "She and Thor are a thing. She's been trying to work up the guts to ask him out for months. He's been trying to figure out how to ask her out, too. I've just been taking her places because she doesn't feel comfortable going places alone like you do, and she doesn't know as many people."

"Oh," Sharon murmured. Realizing that Steve _wasn't_ in love with Helen, she repeated, " _Oh._ "

"Yeah."

She grinned. "You should kiss me again. I think we need the practice."

* * *

The next few years was pleasant enough, and promised more pleasantness - perhaps even perfection - to come. The two of them each had their flaws to varying degrees, but both were determined not to indulge them. Formerly respected for her name and wealth, Sharon became genuinely respected for her kindness and humility. 

And yes, by the time they married, they'd practiced to the point of perfection.


End file.
